a few stores accept my Canadian coins…will the protestant God accept my Hail Marys as penance for my sins?
i heard jesus was a good sport afterall
Related posts:
- Do stores in the USA have to accept foreign money? What about Canadian coins? What does the USA have to accep? Do stores in the USA have to accept foreign money? What about Canadian coins? What does the USA have to accept?...
- Can Canadian Currency such as coins be used at face value in Stores and restaurants in the United States? I have about 7 dollars in Canadian coins and was wondering with the new Canadian exchange rates,, can the coins be used at face value in United States Stores and...
- Do Canadian banks accept Euros? I have 25 euros (all coins) left over from my trip to Spain and want to get some Canadian dollars so will a canadian bank accept them then let me...
- why won’t us. banks accept canadian $2 dollar coin? i work as a server in america at an applebees restaurant, and yesterday, a customer gave me a Canadian coin (aka toonie) as gratuity. i went to my bank (wachovia)...
- Why wont americans accept the canadian dollar? I am really puzzled as to why us Canadians will accept the US Dollar at any of our stores and bank yet when you go to the U.S they will...
The one true God does not accept penance because He does not require penance. That is required only by man. God requires that you accept the free gift of salvation from Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Doing penance is telling God that you do not believe that Jesus paid the price for your sins already.
same God.
Sure.
Hahahahahahahaha.
There is only one true God and He only accepts truth from you
Protestant… probably not. But the Episcopalians will. They’re like Catholic "light".
No.
Do you REALLY know the Virgin Mary?
In the Bible stories the “Virgin” Mary was still single and only engaged to Saint Joseph even after 6 MONTHS of PREGNANCY! She was eagerly submitting to the indecent proposal of perfect STRANGERS (Saint Gabriel and God the Holy Ghost). Any other Jewish girl would have been stoned to death (Deut 22:23-24)! Mary was special! NO WONDER JESUS ALLOWS ALL PROSTITUTES TO ENTER HEAVEN!
Matthew 21:31 (NIV) Jesus said to them, "I TELL YOU THE TRUTH* (*no BULL CRAP!), the tax collectors and the PROSTITUTES* (*including gay and lesbian sluts!) ARE ENTERING THE KINGDOM OF GOD ahead of you* (*straight JEWS!)
Jesus is a plain SOB bastard! The Bible writers ruled that “God” doesn’t deal with any BASTARD no matter how Holy until their 10th generation (Deut 23:2), except for Jephthah because he sacrificed his own daughter to God (Judges 11)! Jesus was born when there was no CNN. Saint Salome, not Christiane Amanpour verified the “virgin birth” miracle to the fullest satisfaction of the Earliest Church Fathers! They claim that neither God the Holy Ghost’s tryst, nor Jesus Christ’s birth destroyed Mary’s HYMEN!
GOSPEL OF SAINT BARTHOLOMEW
http://www.gnosis.org/library/gosbart.htm
Chapter 2 (II)
3 Bartholomew therefore said unto Peter: Thou that art the chief, and my teacher* (*forget about Jesus!), draw near and ask her. But Peter said to John: Thou art a virgin* (*no joking!) and undefiled and thou must ask her.
4 And as they all doubted and disputed, Bartholomew came near unto her with a cheerful countenance and said to her: Thou that art highly favored the tabernacle of the Most High, unblemished we, even all the apostles, ask thee to tell us how thou didst conceive the incomprehensible.
5 But Mary said unto them: Ask me not concerning this mystery. If I should begin to tell you, fire will issue forth out of my mouth and consume all the world.
6 But they continued yet the more to ask her. And she, for she could not refuse to hear the apostles, said: Let us stand up in prayer
…
7-13 Pentecostal gibberish…
…
14 And when she had ended the prayer she began to say unto them: Let us sit down upon the ground; and come thou, Peter the chief, and sit on my right hand and put thy left hand beneath mine armpit; and thou, Andrew, do so on my left hand; and thou, John, the virgin* (*NO JOKING!), hold together my bosom* (*lucky “virgin” guy!); and thou, Bartholomew, set thy knees against my back and hold my shoulders, lest when I begin to speak my bones be loosed one from another* (*she was anticipating another orgasmic experience of humongous proportions as when she had sex with God the Holy Ghost!).
15 And when they had so done she began to say: When I abode in the temple of God, on a certain day there appeared unto me one in the likeness of an angel.
16 And straightway the veil of the temple was rent and there was a very great earthquake, and I fell upon the earth, for I was not able to endure the sight* (*was it the size of it?) of him.
17 But he put his hand beneath me* (*right in between my legs!) and raised me up, and I looked up into heaven AND THERE CAME A CLOUD OF DEW* (*Holy Semen) AND SPRINKLED ME FROM THE HEAD TO THE FEET* (*all over her face just like in any hard porn video!), and he wiped me with his robe* (*apparently, at that time they had no shower room in the Temple of God!).
Evangelical Christians still believe that the Mary never lost her virginity neither during her sexual intercourse with God the Holy Ghost, nor during DELIVERY…
THE PROTEVANGELIUM OF SAINT JAMES
http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/0847.htm
19. And the midwife went forth out of the cave, and Salome met her. And she said to her: Salome, Salome, I have a strange sight to relate to thee: a virgin has brought forth-a thing which her nature admits not of. Then said Salome: As the Lord my God liveth, unless I thrust in my FINGER, and search the **** parts* (*this check goes BEYOND any casual FONDLING!), I will not believe that a virgin has brought forth.
20. And the midwife went in, and said to Mary: Show thyself* (*spread thy legs! WARNING: Only members of the Clergy and “dedicated Saints” are allowed to legally perform this ritual on any girl suspected to be still a virgin after delivery!), for no small controversy has arisen about thee. And Salome put in her finger* (*inside Mary’s HOLY vagina), and cried out, and said: Woe is me for mine iniquity and mine unbelief, because I have tempted the living God; and, behold, my hand is dropping off as if burned with fire* (*Mary was a REAL HOT!)!
Saint Salome got very excited using her whole hand in search of the hallowed hymen. But relax all ye Christians, she fully recovered so ye all can sing along…
“♪♫♪ Faith of our Fathers living still…
♪♫♪ we will be true to thee till death…♪♫♪"
Mary, the mother of Jesus, was not a prostitute because she had never been with a man. She conceived by the holy spirit of God. Stop trying to twist the Bible.
You Catholics really crack me up. Are you saying you Catholics worship a different god? (notice the small ‘g’)